Abolition of the systems that allow this culture to perpetuate is not an aspirational ideal, it’s an immediate humanitarian demand.
Women UK-wide are standing in solidarity on 13th March with those affected by gender-based violence. It is fair to assume that a great majority of those accessing this piece are likely not to have met Sarah Everard, but in news of her story being told — we recognised a part of ourselves stitched into the narrative.
There are many women who may not have slept so soundly following the reporting. I send my heartfelt love to all who were retroactively affected by events that have remained with them, possibly buried and brought to the surface but remaining poignant given the outward push. Those who speak openly, and those who hold those memories and feelings internally — we are all standing with you now and always.
This has come at a time where statistics have shown 97% of women under 24 have experienced a form of sexual assault, with 80% of all ages experiencing a form of sexual assault in public spaces. Since 5th March, which is last Friday — six women and a little girl have been reported as being killed at the hands of men in the UK. In the same week, 16 year old Wenjing Ling lost her life at the hands of a man in Rhondda. Just this February, 10 known women and 2 children were sexually assaulted in Singleton Park.
Relating to that spate of attacks, our primary news source in Wales was allowed to print victim blaming quotes from the man in question. This led to victims of those attacks having to waive their anonymity in order to speak up on the injustices served not only by the offender — but by the media.
It is estimated by Rape Crisis UK that only around 15% of people who experience sexual violence report the event to the police. Women have grown to know that these crimes are not always adequately dealt with and by nature of the patriarchal system we reside within — victims turn to self blame and shame. Women of colour, sex workers and trans women are statistically more likely to have unfair treatment by police following a report. They are silenced, and women by large remain afraid and vigilant.
Across social media and within their circles, women have been recalling their stories, but women shouldn’t have to pour their trauma into limited characters in order for these issues to be recognised by men, by other women, by the media or by the forces who are sworn to protect them.
Women shouldn’t be fighting for areas of their streets to be lit.
Women shouldn’t dress themselves with the forethought of whether an outfit is likely to end in a violent attack.
Women shouldn’t be told not to walk but instead to take a taxi, and then have to worry that their taxi will be the scene of a crime upon them.
Women should not fear approaching the police after an incident for worry of ridicule or disbelief.
Women shouldn’t feel as though there will always be a consistent and very real threat to their livelihood when they leave the house, armed with whichever learned behaviours are ingrained in them as self defence and protection.
Women have tried apps. They have tried keys. They have tried modesty, they have tried avoiding places and situations. They’ve tried panic buttons on pendants. They have tried flat shoes. They’ve avoided the night. They have screamed. They have kept their head down. They have hid in a crowd. They’ve crossed the road. They have tried defence classes. They have tried buddying with other women. They have called on the way home. They’ve text when home. They have tried. They are done. And we are done.
And men should not be justifying the behaviours that lead to these events.
I have been unsure, over the course of the week, whether it has been more distressing to view friends and strangers flood all too relatable stories over their public platforms .. or to come to the realisation that this abuse is allowed to define us as women.
Abolition of the systems that allow this culture to perpetuate is not an aspirational ideal, it’s an immediate humanitarian demand. This is a productive opportunity for important conversations and change. To re-imagine how we deal with gender-based violence at its roots. It begins and ends with toxic masculinity, and it begins and ends with men.
It is ever important to not lose focus during these times, you are a part of a collective of women across the entire country standing in solidarity with 50% of the population who all stood for the same reason. Women do not feel safe, and won’t be safe until change is made towards our collective attitude on violence against women.
We come together to light our candles this evening, to pay our respect and to demand solutions in the name of all women who have been harmed, all women who have altered their behaviour and all women who still fear for their safety.
In the last year, the following women have been killed where a man has been charged or is the principle subject of a murder enquiry into their death. We stand for their memories. We stand to ensure no more women are harmed at the hands of men.
Tracey Kidd
Nelly Mustafa
Zahida Bi
Josephine Kay
Shadika Mohsin Patel
Maureen Kidd
Wendy Morse
Nageeba Alariqy
Elsie Smith
Kelly Stewart
Gwendoline Bound
Ruth Williams
Victoria Woodhall
Kelly Fitzgibbons and her two daughters
Caroline Walker
Katie Walker
Zobaidah Salangy
Betty Dobin
Sonia Calvi
Maryan Ismail
Daniella Espirito Santo
Ruth Brown
Denise Keane-Barnett-Simmons
Jadwiga Szcygielsk
Emma Jame McParland
Louise Aitchison
Silke Hartsthorne-Jones
Hyacinth Morris
Louise Smith
Claire Parry
Aya Hachem
Melissa Belshaw
Yvonne known to loved ones as Vonnie Lawson McCann
Lyndsey Alcock
Aneta Zdun
Mandy Houghton
Amy-Leanne Stringfellow
Bibaa Henry
Nicole Smallman
Dawn Bennett
Gemma Marjoram
Karolina Zinkeviciene
Rosemary Hill
Jackie Hoadley
Khloemae Loy
Kerry Woolley
Shelly Clark
Bernadette Walker
Stella Frew
Dawn Fletcher
Deborah Jones/Hendrick
Patrycia Wyrebek
Thesasia Gordon
Esther Ebgon
Susain Baird
Balvinder Gahir
Lynda Cooper
Lorraine Cox
Suzanne Winnister
Maria Howarth
Abida Karim
Saman Mir Sacharvi
Vian Mangrio
Poorma Kaameshwari Sivaraj and her child
Louise Rump
Julie Williams
Rhonda Humphreys
Nicole McGregor
Angela Webber
Carole Wright
Sarah Smith
Ildiko Bettison
Kimberly Deakin
Marie Gladders
Paula Leather
Caroline Kayll
Lauren Mae Boomer
Hansa Patel
Helen Bannister
Marta Vento
Andreia Patricia Rodriguez Guilherme
Joanna Borucka
Azaria Williams
Catherine Granger
Eileen Dean
Sue Addis
Carol Hart
Jacqueline Price
Mary Wells
Tiprat Argatu
Christine Frewin
Souad Bellaha
Ann Turner
N’taya Elliot-Cleverly
Rose Marie Tinton
Ranjit Gill
Helen Joy
Emma Robertson
Nicola Anderson
Linda Maggs
Carol Smith
Sophie Moss
Christina Rowe
Susan Hannaby
Michelle Lizanec
Wieslawa Mierzewska
Judith Rhead
Anna Oysyannikova
Tina Eyre
Katie Simpson
Bennyl Burke and her two year old daughter
Samantha Heap
Geetika Goyal
Imogen Bohajczuk
Wenjing Xu
Sarah Everend
Jane Doe, Aberdeen
Jane Done, Doncaster
Jane Done, Wolverhampton.
